


I’ve been walking the streets at night, just trying to get it right

by viktorcreed



Series: a kiss with a fist is better than none [7]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Bisexual Disaster Steve Harrington, Biting, F/M, Gay Disaster Billy Hargrove, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Masturbation, Possessive Behavior, Rough Kissing, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:00:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21791893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viktorcreed/pseuds/viktorcreed
Summary: “You’re mine.” Billy tells Steve. He’s looking right into the other boy’s eyes and he, if he’s honest with himself, feels just as shocked as Steve looks that he actually said it. “You don’t fuck anyone else, ever.” Steve lets out a choked breath and damn Billy never gets tired of hearing noises like that. “Got it?” he gives Steve a shake for good measure as the other boy nods dumbly.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington/Original Female Character(s)
Series: a kiss with a fist is better than none [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/860440
Comments: 15
Kudos: 332





	I’ve been walking the streets at night, just trying to get it right

**Author's Note:**

> I had this stupid idea in my head that this fic needed to be complete before I posed it. I felt like if I posted a WIP than I would be like disappointing everybody who waited so patiently for this to come out. But that's stupid, cause i think its probably more disappointing to be waiting and not get anything, at least this way y'all get more content. With that being said; this is complete, or at least as complete as it will be for now. Tbh I planned something a heck of a lot longer than this, and as of right now I will continue to chip away and post it eventually. But until than please enjoy this. Unbetaed, all mistakes are my own.
> 
>  **Side note:** Nancy did not treat Steve well at all, Nancy cheated on him. My own personal feelings aside however in this fic Steve doesn't know that. He just thinks Nancy didn't love him and so it's nobody's fault really. Because of this he still thinks about Nancy in a very positive pining the one that got away light. It was important for me that his feelings with Nancy not just be erased, it was a really big relationship for him, like his first love and all. And this takes place a few months after they broke up. So if you're not the biggest Nancy fan, I feel ya bro, but Steve definitely is!
> 
>  **Side-side note:** Every queer experience is different so when writing this fic I drew off of my own internalized biphobia. Sometimes it was hard to write so I can imagine it might be hard to read. I've seen a comment about this in the past and I know slurs hurt people but it's not my intention to do so. The basis of this fic is the raw emotional turmoil and journey these boys take both separately and together, in some ways it's cathartic for me and my own aforementioned internalized biphobia. For that reason I don't plan on ever pulling any punches with anything I write. If you find this work triggering than please don't read it. No fic is worth triggering yourself over.

It should be weird hanging out with Dustin just for the sake of hanging out, but it isn’t. It feels perfectly natural to meet up with Dustin on occasion and have lunch like this, it feels nice even. It’s not like Steve doesn’t have any friends it’s just hard sometimes suddenly knowing how big the world is and not being able to share that with other people. Dustin’s one of the few people who understands the recent nightmare inducing turn of events his life has decided to take.

Well as far as extradimensional alien weird goes, anyway. The whole gay sex thing definitely isn’t a topic he’s going to bring up with a kid.

“So, like when do gay people become gay?” Dustin asks conversationally reaching out across the table they are sitting at in the greasy diner to steal fries from Steve’s plate. Had Steve not been having an actual freaking heart attack he would have smacked the kids hands away on principle. 

As it stands Steve’s brain is busy short circuiting as he tries to comprehend the question he’s just been asked.

Dustin doesn’t seem to notice as he hurriedly chews the fries as if Steve might reach over and try to snatch them back out of his mouth. “Cause I got this aunt who’s getting divorced, I heard my mom talking about it. She says its cause my Aunt Jeanie went and turned into a lesbian.”

Steve shifts awkwardly in his seat, sliding his plate further down the table and out of Dustin’s reach just for something to do. This isn’t something he’s thought about much particularly. The thoughts crossed his mind once or twice. 

Was he gay now? 

The answer just always felt like an emphatic no, so he never really dwelled on it before. 

But that’s not the point. That’s not what Dustin’s asking him right now.

“I mean they were married for like almost ten years. And before that they must have dated, right?” Dustin just keeps on talking and Steve nods dumbly while he waits for the room to stop spinning. “Just seems like a waste y’know? Like if you were gonna be gay why get married in the first place?”

“Well maybe she didn’t know.” Steve mumbles thoughtfully. He’s mostly talking to himself working out this difficult train of thought because it’s been lingering in the back of his mind for some time now. Questioning one’s sexuality is a fairly complex process best left to the subconscious. It isn’t anything Steve wants to think about with his waking mind.

“How could she not, seems like a really big thing to just not know about yourself.” Dustin frowns at the idea, eyeing Steve’s fries and half eaten burger with longing.

Steve sighs sliding the plate back over to Dustin who grins and immediately starts reaching for the fires again. They were getting cold anyway.

“It doesn’t always work that way.” Steve shrugs lamely.

“Well how does it work?” Dustin asks shoveling cold fries into his mouth at a speed that was neither healthy nor appetizing.

“I’m not sure.” Steve shrugs again feeling helpless. “I don’t know the first thing about being gay.” He answers truthfully.

Or at least as truthful as he’s willing to be in this moment.

\--

Steve lies in his bed feeling restless, sleep elusive. Moments like this he wishes his parents were too busy to be at home again because if Billy were here he wouldn’t have to think about anything this complicated. When Billy’s around Steve doesn’t need to think just act and react, it was fucking beautiful. As it stands the family business is still in its off-season brought on by the beginning of the year, it’d pick up again eventually. 

But until then Steve was left contemplating when he should have been sleeping.

The question about what makes a person gay has thrusted itself prominently in the forefront of Steve’s mind. It stubbornly hounds him for an answer or an explanation that he simply isn’t equipped to deal with. The whole gay thing seemed so much easier to answer before Steve had actually put a dick in his mouth. 

Gay people were the ones who sucked dicks they were guys who liked getting off with other guys. And Steve has done that, enjoyed doing that, plans to do it again in the very near future. So why can’t he admit to himself that he’s gay? 

Had this question been about anyone else, had Tommy come up to him and proudly proclaimed that he liked sucking dick, Steve wouldn’t have batted an eyelash before labeling him as gay. But it just didn’t feel right.

If he liked sucking dick than he shouldn’t like girls, but he did. 

If he was supposed to be gay than he never would have fallen in love with Nancy, but he did. Steve did love her still does in some ways. Thinking about her still ached in his chest, those were real feelings. Real feelings that he had for a girl.

Shit, why was this so fucking complicated?

Did it even really matter? Would it change anything?

Either way he’d still want Billy. He’d still be in love with Nancy in the painful kind of way that means he knows he’ll never be able to have her.

How was Steve supposed to know whether or not he was gay, he doesn’t even know what he wants to do with his life. Jesus, he wasn’t smart enough for these types of questions.

Steve sighs, frustrated, turns restlessly in his bed and waits fitfully for sleep to come and rescue him from his own mind.

It never comes.

\--

Ashley Green is a cute girl. Steve thinks so anyway. She’s got wide brown eyes, a cute nose, strawberry blond hair, and a slightly crooked smile. She reminds Steve a little bit of Bambi, in a very good way. He tells Tommy this once and the other boy laughs so hard that Steve figures it’s not something he should ever repeat. Even though he really does mean it in a good way.

He asks her out once to see a movie, it was months ago –two lifetimes ago at least—and she’d said yes seemed really excited about it even. Steve remembers being excited about it too, but then she’d been grounded, and they never actually made it to that movie. Shortly after that Steve had met Nancy and the rest was as they say history.

It’s pretty obvious now that Steve and Nancy are no longer together, and Ashley had tried a few times to get Steve’s attention. But Steve had never really been interested. Nothing against Ashley who is perfectly cute in her own uniquely aggressive way, but Steve just wasn’t interested in dating.

Well except Billy, if you considered that dating. Steve isn’t sure he does.

Now though when Ashley smiles at him, bright and ever so slightly crooked, Steve finds himself really looking at her again for perhaps the first time since he had met Nancy. He takes in her baby blue cotton blouse that clings to her chest just this side of socially acceptable. His eyes linger on the small bit of her navel he can see from where her shirt crops slightly too short to meet her jeans.

He thinks there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, to himself and doesn’t realize the dopey grin that takes over his face. Ashley does however, and her sweet smile turns predatory as she approaches.

“You’ve forgotten all about me, Steve.” She accuses her lips bright pink and shinning from lip-gloss forms into an adorable pout. Steve thinks he’d really like to lick the gloss of her lips.

“Me, forget about you?” Steve gasps in mock shock. “Impossible, baby you’re one in a million.” He flirts easily if not a bit distractedly. It’s not anything particular against Ashley she just wasn’t Nancy, or Billy, a traitorous though snickers in the back of his head. But she’s cute and flirting is a reflex for Steve. It’s simple uncomplicated and he finds that he’s actually eager for the distraction.

He hasn’t been with any girl since Nancy, and that’s been over for nearly two months. Longer even if he starts counting from when their relationship had really started to deteriorate. But he doesn’t because it hurts.

Ashley places a hand on his shoulder and pushes lightly effectively breaking through Steve’s train of thought. “Liar.” She accuses playfully. “You’ve been ignoring me for weeks.” She licks her bottom lip into her mouth deepening her small pout and Steve feels like kissing her.

Which gets him thinking about kissing in general and then about kissing Billy. He wonders if kissing Ashley will feel as hot and desperate as kissing Billy makes him feel. Like he’s boiling over and about to actually erupt like a friggin’ volcano or something.

Steve clears his throat in an effort to get his brain back on track, like that’s actually going to get him to stop thinking about Billy.

It doesn’t.

Fuck.

“Let me make it up to you.” Steve offers hastily because he just needs to say something to get rid of the awkward silence getting lost in his thoughts about Billy had caused.

Ashley forgives him easily. Vaguely annoyed expression melting into grin. “Well,” she sighs like she actually needs to think about it. “You do owe me a movie.”

He’s about to agree when he hears the distinct sound of someone clearing their throat, it’s got the same kind of direct and commanding tone a teacher would use to quiet down an unruly class. After years of public-school Steve’s brains been trained to home in on that sort of thing. He cringes when he notes the older woman standing just behind him, she’s got soft white hair and neat little wrinkles around her eyes and mouth.

Steve shifts awkwardly beneath the gaze of Mrs. Biedman, the school counsellor. A few months ago, which feels like years now, when Steve had been with Nancy, she had convinced him to speak with Mrs. Biedman about his future. It had been a painfully awkward conversation to say the least, but Nancy had believed in him. She had smiled kindly and told Steve that he was smart, smart enough to go to college. 

And Steve had believed her, partly because he was an idiot. But mostly because he’d rather have given up his left nut or been torn apart by a dozen demo-dogs than disappoint Nancy.

Ashley pouts slightly and rolls her eyes just so, clearly not liking that Steve’s attention had shifted away from her. “We’ll talk later, okay?” she tells him pointedly. It’s phrased like a question, but her tone leaves no room for any actual answers. This is a statement and a promise. They will talk later. “I’ll meet you after school.” She leans up on her toes and presses a kiss into Steve’s cheek. Ashley turns to give Mrs. Biedman a long stare before she finally walks away.

Mrs. Biedman doesn’t even spare a glance in Ashley’s direction; her gaze is focused solely on Steve who flushes brightly and looks away from Mrs. Beidman’s gaze.

This is too damn awkward, forever ago when Steve had approached the older woman about his college prospects, she had been bright and hopeful with him. They had laid out a whole plan, Steve wasn’t going to get in any ivy league schools or anything like that, but they’d spoken about state schools and even starting a community college and transferring later. Steve was supposed to get back to her, but he never had because now the whole thing felt like a stupid joke and not anything that was actually possible for someone like him.

“Mr. Harrington, I’d hoped to hear from you sooner.” Mrs.Beidman says, not unkindly.

Steve shifts awkwardly feeling uncomfortable with this whole stupid situation. He fixes a false smile of bravado in place and shrugs nonchalantly as if this doesn’t bother him. As if nothing ever could.

“Well, y’know how it is. I’ve just been kinda busy lately.”

Mrs.Beidman arches her brow, lets her steely gaze drift from Steve over to Ashley’s retreating form and back solely onto Steve once again. It’s an unsettling feeling, like he’s being examined or something. He hates it. “I can see that.” She sighs before offering Steve a gentle smile. Steve hates it even more than the hardened and judgmental look she’d fixed him with just moments ago. “Just don’t wait too long, Mr. Harrington. I really do believe you have a bright future ahead.”

Steve scoffs at the implication. It’s not that he thinks the concept of his future is some distant lost cause or anything. It’s just that he knows that he isn’t meant for a university or college he isn’t smart enough for something like that. He’d make decent enough money working for his dad, his dad who managed to build an entire company without ever having even graduating high school.

So, what’s the point in even worrying about applying to schools anyway?

“Of course, I’ll get back to you ASAP.” Steve says brightly.

He’s lying through his fucking teeth.

Mrs.Beidman looks at him as if she knows this already but is still hoping for the best anyway.

\--

Having his parents’ home all the time is weird. And it’s not like Steve doesn’t love and miss his parents it’s just that he isn’t used to them being so…present. It’s an adjustment, because suddenly Steve has to let them know where he’s going to be. 

It’s not a huge deal though, when he gets home he just mentions off-handedly he’d be meeting a girl later that evening and his dad barely spares him a second glance just gives him a twenty for gas and warns him not to stay out too late. His mom pesters him with some questions, excited to see Steve dating again after Nancy, as if that’s somehow just going to erase his feelings for her. It’s annoying even if his mom means well, and beyond that, things with Billy are virtually nonexistent. Billy won’t risk doing anything at school again and he doesn’t dare to even approach Steve’s home while his parents are there.

Steve remembers fondly that moment they had in the woods last week. When he and Billy had made out desperately, it was so friggin hot. Steve jerks off a lot thinking about how Billy’s tongue had felt in his mouth. Steve wants to tell Billy to meet him in the woods again, but the other boy was just so damn aggressively, frustratingly, unapproachable at school. This whole thing between them, whatever it was, happened on Billy’s terms or not at all.

Steve can hear him driving fast and loud down the road past his house—which Steve figures must be out of his way—just to check if it’s safe to come around. If his parent’s car isn’t in the driveway Billy just makes a wildly illegal U-turn and then they’re good to go. Instead Steve listens to the blaring music grow quieter and quieter as Billy drives away farther still. Steve sighs softly to himself because he already knows Billy is going to be glaring daggers at him again tomorrow as if it’s his fault his parents are home all the time.

Still it's comforting to hear it happen nearly every single day after school lets out, to know that Billy isn’t giving up or losing interest.

He grins to himself as he goes upstairs to his room to start his homework. It was kinda funny actually if you told Steve a year ago that he would wind up doing his homework on Friday night instead of waiting until Sunday or even Monday morning, he probably would have laughed himself sick. But the whole doing his homework right away thing was one of the really good habits Nancy had instilled in him. And weirdly, even now, he doesn’t want to disappoint her.

Which probably made him extremely fucking pathetic, as if he didn’t already know that. Ugh, was thinking about Nancy always going to be this painful? 

Whatever, eventually Steve loses himself in his English assignment, which is the only piece of actual homework he has. After that he starts studying for his upcoming History exam until eventually he loses interest in academia altogether and starts thinking about jerking off. It’s kind of a tradition he does before a date to settle his nerves.

Steve’s got a small collection of porno mags stashed behind the head of his bed, a few stolen from his dad when he was barely ten the rest stolen from gas stations when he got a little older and a lot bolder. He used to give them a glance over before bed, that is used to until he started dating Nancy and then after Billy had been keeping him busy. He hasn’t even really thought about using them in a while.

Now though he’s curious if looking at them will still feel the same. Before he’s given it any more thought Steve finds himself perusing through an old issue of Penthouse, there’s a model on their named Stacey with bright blue eyes and cherry red lips. 

She’s no Billy but it’ll have to do.

Except it doesn’t. Steve spends an awkward and frustrating five minutes just trying to get her sultry slightly parted, and suddenly so very dissatisfied and vacant expression to work for him, but it just never does. He strokes himself in a slow easy rhythm and gets half hard from the motion alone, it’s got nothing to do with Stacey.

He huffs disappointed and gives up after a couple more minutes.

Does this mean he’s gay?

Cause like before Billy he had no issue jerking off with these magazines. He spends a moment trying to be introspective and actually think about what the big difference is. The only thing he can come up with is that, before, when he had been with Nancy even that first time it wasn’t like anything he had felt before. It wasn’t meaningless he had cared so much. They had made love, which before that moment had only been an abstract concept for Steve, it was one of the most beautiful moments of Steve’s life.

And then with Billy it was just so hot and aggressive and out of control, it was like nothing Steve had ever experienced before. Even the really pushy girls he’d been with who liked to bite his lip and pull his hair, while also hot in its own way, was nothing compared to Billy. How his voice went rough and mean, sneering insults at him. They paled in comparison to Billy’s hands rough and demanding all over his body. They didn’t make Steve go all hot and needy and hard.

Like fuck really fucking hard. Steve grits his teeth against the groan building up in his throat as he strokes himself. Thinking about Billy’s hands all over him, grabbing and twisting, it makes him so hot it’s stupid. He strokes himself harder thinking about the way Billy kisses, angry and biting, and fuck--

Steve barely has the presence of mind to shove his fist in his mouth to quiet the desperate noises clawing their way outside of his throat; he didn’t use to be this loud before Billy, as his orgasm rips through him like a bullet train.

He glances at the magazine lying forgotten at the foot of his bed and sighs deeply to himself thinking his life was so much easier before he ever let Billy Hargrove touch his dick.

\--

Ashley is actually a really cool person, Steve thinks if he’d started dating her before Billy maybe he wouldn’t have ever gotten involved with Billy in the first place. But at the same time this thing with Billy just feels so inevitable, so big and important, he doubts even a girl as cool as Ashley could get in the way of it.

He feels vaguely guilty throughout their date, because when he picks her up, she looks completely flawless in her dress and makeup. Steve knows she probably went all out for him and his heart’s just not in it.

They go to a drive-in movie theater to watch some low budget action film Steve doesn’t remember the name of, he buys Ashley M&Ms with peanuts because she swears that they taste better than the regular kind, and guilty feelings aside, the night is really nice. Until it isn’t.

Until halfway through the movie, Ashley crawls her way into his lap and starts kissing him. She’s a nice kisser, Steve likes the way she runs her hand through his hair and moans against his lips. It’s really sexy. He’s getting hard even, he can’t deny that. She reaches her hand under his shirt and rests her palm against the skin of his flesh and grinds down to where she can doubt feel his hardon rubbing against her thigh.

It sends a jolt of arousal and guilty hot shame running down Steve’s spine and he firmly, but not unkindly, pushes her out of his lap.

Ashley looks surprised and slightly offended. “What’s your problem anyway? She scoffs. Steve thinks she’s probably not the type of girl who is used to rejection and feels another wave of guilt overcome him because he knows just how shitty rejection is. He doesn’t wanna make her feel bad, there’s nothing wrong with her she’s just—

She’s just not Billy.

Steve sighs he really doesn’t want to be in this car having this conversation right now. He wanted to know if he could be attracted to girls and Billy at the same time. And now he knows that he can. It just sucks Ashley is probably going to be really hurt and hate his guts after this.

“It’s not you, it’s me.” He tells her lamely and she looks at him sharply with this shocked hurt face as if he’d just slapped her.

Eventually the shock wears off and she looks pissed and disgusted almost. Maybe she can tell he’s into guys somehow and it’s grossing her out more than the actual rejection. It’s a stupid anxious thought that makes no sense, but he can’t help thinking it.

Ashley doesn’t push the subject, instead she crosses her arms tightly over her chest says, “Just take me home.” In a clipped and angry tone. Steve doesn’t even bother fighting it or trying to apologize again. He drives her home in an awkward heavy silence.

They don’t say a word to each other even after Steve pulls up in front of her house, and before he can even move to get her door, she jumps out of his car face red and eyes wet with unshed tears.

Fuck, Steve is the worst kind of asshole.

That night Steve has a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. He thinks at most he probably managed to cobble together around four hours of sleep. He accepts that sleeping easy just isn’t a comfort he’s allowed to have any more. It’s probably a punishment for all of his transgressions, Steve thinks numbly his entire life sometimes feels like one really long punishment.

On Monday Steve is expecting the entire school to know about his date with Ashley and he’s not looking forward to what’s going to happen when Billy finds out.

\--

Billy is on his way to Biology when he overhears two girls gossiping. He doesn’t typically listen to school gossip because he doesn’t give a shit about anyone who lives in this podunk town and cares even less about the other kids in this school. But then one of the girls lets out a cackle. It’s an ugly peel of laughter that wouldn’t sound out of place coming from the wicked witch of the west from the Wizard of Oz. Billy vaguely remembers watching this movie with his mother and before he has a chance to even reminisce his heart stops when he actually hears what they’re talking about.

“I heard Sandy talking about it last period. Apparently, Steve fucked her once and it was so bad he didn’t even call her after or anything.” One girl tells the other. She doesn't even pretend to whisper and stops for a moment to laugh cruelly once again.

The other girl laughs along with her. Neither of them pays any attention to Billy. “Serves her right.” The second girl scoffs. “Ashley Greene is such a slut.” The two girls walk off together and leave Billy seething behind them. Neither noticing the boy shaking as his entire body flushes red and hot vibrating with anger.

Billy can’t remember a time in his life when he was ever this angry, or hurt, a tiny part of himself admits. But Billy ignores that part vehemently. His mind is reeling and his chest aches, he has no idea what to do with himself.

He knows he shouldn’t care. He knows it’s none of his business if Steve wants to fuck around. But still, still he feels fucking betrayed. 

Billy definitely shouldn’t be feeling this way. He shouldn’t be feeling anything for Billy other than disdain. 

He rationalizes it by devising that Steve fucking belongs to him and if the other boy wants to fuck around, he damn sure better get permission first. Not that Billy would give it to him, because he only means that on principal and principal alone, Billy doesn’t fucking share. 

Every part of Steve Harrington, from his stupid gorgeous smiles to his tight body and filthy moans belonged to Billy. Somehow Steve forgot that but it’s okay because Billy was definitely going to go and remind him of that.

Tracking Steve down takes longer than Billy would have liked, and the longer it takes the angrier he gets. But finally, he manages to catch sight of him coming out of a classroom looking completely oblivious and painfully attractive. So, y’know, normal.

He smiles at Billy for a moment until he sees just how angry Billy’s face looks, than his smile falters. 

Typically, Billy does not approach Steve at school, he’s still somehow convinced that if anyone saw them interacting for longer than ten seconds, they would somehow be able to guess the two boys were fucking and it’s just not a risk Billy is willing to take. 

Well not usually anyway, right now he’s too angry to be careful. 

He grabs a hold of Steve by the arm, the other boy protests and tries to shake the hold but Billy isn’t having it, he drags Steve along with him loudly complaining until he finds an empty class room and shoves him inside of it. Billy shuts the lights off and locks the door behind him. 

For a long moment he just stares at Steve, he actually has no idea what to say now. He’s still pissed but ‘How could you hurt me?’ and ‘I trusted you’ sounds so lame. And totally unfounded, technically they hadn’t made any promises to each other. Steve doesn’t owe him anything. Steve could have sex with whoever he wanted, hell, Steve could start dating Ashley Greene and stop talking to Billy altogether if he wanted. 

That thought panics Billy, he feels like he wants to throw up. He lifts his hands to his head in distress and pulls at his hair for a moment, the pain is sharp and grounding. After that he takes a deep breath and reminds himself that none of that was happening. Steve belongs to him; the other boy just needed some reminding of that was all.

There are a few tense minutes of this awkward silence between them. Awkward because it’s pretty damn obvious that Billy is freaking the fuck out and Steve is half reaching out like he wants to go over and hold him or something. He probably realizes it would just piss Billy off but even knowing that isn’t strong enough to kill the instinct. If Billy were anyone else, it might be kinda sweet but instead it mostly just pisses him off. Mostly.

After a moment Billy finally brings himself to talk. “Did you fuck Ashley Greene?” The question is terse, and he spits out Ashley’s name like it’s a dirty word, which as far as Billy is concerned it definitely fucking is.

Steve blinks at him, eyes going wide and comical in disbelief. It’s clearly not what he’s expecting Billy to say. It pisses Billy off even more, the longer it takes Steve to respond the more Billy believes it actually happened. That Steve had got tired of Billy and went back to fucking girls.

And ain’t that a kick in the pants. Billy’s been acting on pure instinct and rage since he overheard those giggling bitches in the hallway earlier, it pissed him off to know that Steve might have fucked someone else. But Billy didn’t actually believe it, until now. He’s not sure which feels worse, thinking that Steve had ‘betrayed’ him or realizing that he trusted Steve enough to believe he wouldn’t, that the stupid rumor was just a stupid rumor, that he could give the other boy the benefit of the doubt only to be wrong.

Billy glares harder, he feels his hands ball into fists and he’s gearing up for something. He’s not sure if he wants to hit Steve or kiss him so damn hard, he forgets anyone else exists, but he doesn’t get the change because the other boy starts talking and it kills his momentum.

“No, of course not.” Steve says after the shock wears off. “I mean we went out Friday night and we kissed a little but,” he trails off and doesn’t look Billy in the face anymore. Instead he’s either staring at the floor or his own shoes. He looks ashamed. Like somehow, he gets that even going that far with someone else crosses a line they never established in the first place. It’s comforting in a way to see that maybe Steve gets it too. “I didn’t wanna do anything else cause she wasn’t you.” Steve whispers like it’s a dirty secret.

Probably because it is a dirty secret. He looks up at Billy again a moment later and his whole face looks red. Damn, Billy wants to kiss him so freaking bad.

Wow, maybe Billy really was a damn fag.

He reaches out and grabs the front of Steve’s shirt dragging the other boy in close because what he was about to say was really fucking important and Billy wants to make sure the other boy understands.

Maybe Steve was a damn fag too.

“You’re mine.” He tells Steve. He’s looking right into the other boy’s eyes and he, if he’s honest with himself, feels just as shocked as Steve looks that he actually said it. “You don’t fuck anyone else, ever.” Steve lets out a choked breath and damn Billy never gets tired of hearing noises like that. “Got it?” he gives Steve a shake for good measure as the other boy nods dumbly.

Satisfied, Billy lets him go and watches smirking and satisfied at the way Steve has to stumble and catch himself. He’s turning to leave when he feels Steve’s hand against his forearm jerking him back so hard, he spins around.

The fuck?

Steve is staring at him with this really intense look on his face, even though his cheeks are still flushed. It’s adorable. Billy sneers at him. “It goes both ways.” Steve tells him firmly. It’s not at all what Billy’s expecting him to say. “If I’m yours than you’re mine, and you can’t fuck anyone else either.” Steve is being firmer with Billy now than he’s ever been. It’s shocking to say the least (and hot to say the most, but that’s hardly the point).

Billy shrugs, he doesn’t care to fuck anyone else anyway. He tells himself it doesn’t matter if he agrees or not and that gives him the illusion of control. “Whatever.”

“I’m serious.” Steve says and Billy knows he must be.

For half a second Billy toys with the idea of shutting this down but the thought that he might push Steve hard enough to actually leave kills that urge before it can fully form itself. “Fine, I won’t.” Billy promises and Steve smiles at him. It’s dazzling as ever. Billy feels like his heart skips a beat or something. It’s suddenly really hard to breathe normally.

Maybe they could just be fags together.

\--

After school, they have a new routine now. Steve rushes home and either studies or does his homework, eats dinner with his parents and then rushes back up to his room. Waits until the sunsets, until everything is dark and still and quiet. Waits until he sees a beam of light outside in his backyard flash once, twice, than a third time.

Once he sees the signal than he knows it’s time to go meet Billy at their spot. Because y’know they have a spot now. Billy even calls it their spot.

He says it once when they’re passing by each other in the halls when they’re actually empty during class periods. Steve had been on a bathroom break and Billy was most likely skipping, but he’d nodded at Steve as he walked by and said quietly, so that only Steve could hear “Meet you at our spot later.”

_Our_ spot!

God, that almost felt more gratifying than the inevitable orgasms that went along with the message. Almost.

Steve can’t sneak out of his house fast enough, he shimmies out of his window and down the drain pipe and rushes gleefully into Billy’s arms.

They had set up Steve’s old tent that had once been collecting dust in his garage because it’s not like he and his parents went camping, and Billy’s got a bunch of hold blankets set up in there and, it’s nice. It’s not as comfortable as say, his bed in his room under an actual roof. But it was theirs. It was their spot. The novelty of that would never ware off.

Billy still kisses Steve with a sense of desperation, it’s starts off harsh and biting until their tongues get involved. Than Billy is licking into Steve’s mouth and swallowing down his moans overpowering him the way that only Billy could. It was exhilarating. They pull apart for just long enough to get their clothes out of the way and then they’re back to kissing like mad men.

Maybe they were crazy, who cares?

Steve moans out feeling Billy’s mouth traveling away from his own down his jaw and throat leaving wet hot and biting open mouthed kisses in its wake, until finally reaching its desired destination, his chest. Here Billy stops and actually goes to work, because he knows Steve loves it when he bites down hard enough to bruise.

Fuck, Steve is too damn hard. He’s reaching down to grab at his dick when Billy slaps his hand way. “Relax, Princess.” Billy tells him, his voice gets all rough and mean again. “We got nothing but time.” He says and he’s right.

That night, curled against Billy’s side and wrapped in blankets in their tent, in their spot, Steve finally, blissfully, falls into a deep sleep

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone wondering about the timeline of everything I played it pretty fast and loose with that, lol. You've prolly noticed the only thing I ever flesh out is like feelings and sex but if you're curious about the specifics of anything, just ask! :) All feedback is much appreciated!


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